Public School, also known as A Veritable Henfest

Disclaimer: The Wench has the utmost respect for teachers and the tireless dedication and service they provide, educating our young.

Now that we have that out of the way, allow The Wench to tell you how she really feels about her spawn's teachers.

The Wench's spawn attend public school in an affluent neighborhood. Their teachers, by all accounts, are hard-working and enthusiastic. They are also hell-bent on classifying The Wench's spawn with all manner of disorder, disability and dysfunction. One of the Wench's spawn does not pay attention and has difficulty completing work. The other has a short temper that occasionally flares when confronted with loss, such as losing a game of Chutes and Ladders. This particular spawn is a mite anxious, to boot.

The Wench thought these behaviors were symptomatic of being bored, lazy, six years old, and a general pain in the ass. Instead, the teachers assured her that they indicated potential ADD, OCD, LD and XYZD (The Wench made that last one up). The teachers urge evaluation and therapy. The teachers are aflutter with worry and concern. They simply buzz with nervous energy.

The teachers, without exception, are female.

Now, The Wench has not one beef with female teachers. They perform their jobs with heartfelt valor. However, from personal experience, The Wench notes that --on the whole -- the female gender is vastly more inclined to fret and fuss over the health and well-being of children. From a random sampling of friends, family and acquaintances, The Wench finds that:

(1) Women are twice as likely to troll the internet, reading up on possible developmental delays in their progency and developing hysteria (with concurrent insomnia) as a result.

(2) Women generally follow the recommendations of teachers or doctors to have their children evaluated for various disabilities. Men, however, react to such recommendations as follows: "Nuthin's the matter with that kid. This is bullsh**."

(3) Most affluent, hyper-educated women are taking Paxil, Wellbutrin, or another popular anti-anxiety medication.

The Wench can't help but wonder if the incredible surge in special education referrals is linked to the fact that every last damn teacher is a worrying, whinnying woman. At the last parent-teacher conference, The Wench felt as if she were sitting amongst a brood of Mother Hens, clucking with concern.

Whither art thou, male teachers? Or, for that matter, any teacher with a reasonable approach to child development, one grounded in experience and common sense?

The Wench urges her male readers to spend as much time as possible with their children as, more likely than not, their children spend almost the entirety of their day hovered-over by a bevy of Nervous Nellies.

And yes, The Wench understands that her spawn's teachers act only out of good intentions. But is not the Road to Hell paved with those?